


The three times Nico di Angelo cried

by MadImpossibleJ



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:32:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadImpossibleJ/pseuds/MadImpossibleJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico never thought he'd cry. But he did; three times, he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The three times Nico di Angelo cried

 

Nico Di Angelo wasn’t exactly an emotional guy. He was actually pretty coldhearted most of the time – or so he showed to other people. He always used think he’d never taste tears or deep sadness or anything like that.

But he did. Three times, he did.

***

_The first time was when Bianca left._

Nico refused to hear one more word his sister spoke. It was just a bunch of nonsense words he just _could not_ believe, not even if he tried really hard. Was she even saying all that stupidity? It was selfish and unbelievably immature. His sister should never do what she was thinking to do. That war wasn’t even hers to fight.

“Nico! ” She cried out, her voice so angry Nico forced himself to look at her. His expression was dark and all she did was look at him with a silence request asking him to just listen to her. “I just want you to understand…”

“Understand what, exactly?” he interrupted Bianca almost shouting at her face. She was startled by his reaction to all that. “That you are a selfish little bastard who’s dying to join a war that is not of your concern?”

“‘Not of my concern’? Oh for Gods’ sake, this is a war!” Her eyes were tearing up; she was about to leave behind the only person about who she really cared about and apparently the last thing she’d ever hear from his mouth was ‘you are a selfish little bastard’. “The war involves _all of us_! I’m trying to save you here!” Nico laughed hard when heard that. It wasn’t a funny laugh though; it was a laugh full of the purest disbelief.

“Save me? Please, Bianca, I can take care of myself. If anyone needed to play the savior role here, that’d be me. Cut the crap, you…”

“Shut up, Nico!” Bianca yelled cutting off her brother. She was weeping not only from sadness but also from anger, Nico noticed. She got close enough to him to look straight into his dark eyes. “You’ll never get it, will you? You never get anything. Things don’t revolve around you. It doesn’t matter how long you stare at me with this scorn look on your face, I won’t change my mind. I’ve made my choice. I’m joining the Huntresses, period. And unlike you might imagine it’s not exactly easy for me to leave you… You know what, just forget it. You won’t understand it anyway”

Nico didn’t say a single word. He couldn’t; just faced his sister with an indecipherable look.

“Bianca, it’s time” they heard Percy’s distant voice. None of them said anything. They just looked at each other for a minute that seemed to last an eternity and then Bianca turned around and left him without saying anything else.

Nico was alone, then. Bianca wouldn’t come back with coke and chips and say that that would be all they had to eat that night. No, not that time. She was gone for good.

“She’s gone” Nico said to himself, trying to assimilate the fact. Bianca was his life; his entire purpose to live was to keep her safe. Every day he woke up, every breath he took, he was willing to die for her if necessary. And now she was simply gone, like a leaf in the wind. She turned her back on him.

And as much as he tried to deny it, he knew there was a war out there and this war embraced everyone. But that was a fight they needed to fight side-by-side. It was his duty to keep her by his side twenty for seven to protect her. And now she was far away, completely out of his reach.

He felt an acute pain in his chest and his throat tightened. It was the first time he ever felt something like that – something so intense, so _heartbreaking_. There were tears in his eyes and he was dizzy. He didn’t know what to do. It was like he was breaking apart from inside out. He felt warm tears rolling through his face and hated himself the moment he did. _Pull yourself together by the love of the Gods._

He wiped away the tears from his cheek, took a deep breath and tried to accept as logically as possible the fact that Bianca was gone.

_But how am I supposed to live without her_ , he thought with sorrow, _if I live for her?_

***

_The second time was when Bianca died._

The pain in Percy’s face while he spoke was clear.

“Bianca… I’m sorry, Nico. She’s dead”

He spoke something after that, but Nico didn’t listen. Percy’s voice was like a buzz in his head. Bianca couldn’t have died. No, he made a promise that he’d always protect her, that he’d never let any harm come to her. His little sister… No, that wasn’t happening. For the second time in his life, there was a giant knot in his throat accompanied by warm tears accumulating in his eyes, blurring his sight.

“Nico?” Percy called out when noticed that the boy’s mind was completely absent to everything around him. The Hades’ son looked at the other boy with burning rage in his eyes. He violently took his sword and pointed it out to Percy’s chest.

“You promised me! You promised me you’d take care of her” he shouted out to a scared Percy; of course, he already imagined that Nico’s reaction to the breaking news would be something like this, but not _this_ intense. He’d kill Percy with no mercy, of that he was sure. “I left my sister’s life in your hands, and you let her die!”

“It wasn’t my fault” Percy said in his defense. He reached out to his pocket and took the only physical memory Bianca left behind. He extended it to a puzzled Nico. “Take it. I think she wanted you to have it”

When he recognized the object in Percy’s hand, Nico dropped his sword.  It was Hades’ miniature missing in his collection. He pulled it from Percy’s hand and held it so strongly in his hands that made them hurt. He forgot Percy standing in front of him and looked to the miniature. He couldn’t believe that.

Bianca had just died and one of the last things she did, if not the last, was to collect a stupid toy for him to complete a childish collection. She didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve _any_ of that. He just held the toy tightly in his hands and turned the back on Percy, walking randomly toward the Half-Blood Hill.

He could barely walk. His legs felt like made of jelly and get to the top of the Hill was result of a great effort. He fell on his knees over the light grass and felt dizzier than ever felt in his entire life. It didn’t matter anymore if it was a sign of weakness; he simply surrendered and let the tears run free on his face causing him to sob uncontrollably.

He was desperate. Thinking he would be with Bianca when the war ended was all he had to hold on to since she left. He would be able to see her more often then and though she wouldn’t stay all the time by his side that was better than anything.

But now she had been brutally taken from him forever.

***

_The third time was when he said goodbye._

It’s been three years since Bianca’s death. Kronos was defeated; Luke was the real hero about whom they all should sing for; everyone lost someone but they all carried on, including Nico. That moment he was on his way to a cemetery in Manhattan, where a grave was built for Bianca. There was no body under the ground but Percy insisted it was necessary.

The trip wasn’t long and when he got to the cemetery felt the heart tighten a little bit. He walked among the graves without feeling uncomfortable. About five minutes later he got to the one carrying his sister’s name.

He had done that once. The only time he’d seen the grave was a year before, when it was built. Since then he didn’t find enough strength to go there but he had to. Nico had unfinished business with Bianca.

“Hey” he started to talk feeling the heart tighten a little more. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here. But there’s something I need to do” he felt stupid and childish speaking with a stone but now it was too late to change events.

“I’m sorry, Bianca. I’m sorry this happened to you. For Gods’ sake, you were a child. It was my only and complete obligation to keep you alive and safe; to make sure no harm comes to you. But I knew I couldn’t make you change your mind. I understood your reasons; I always did. Bianca… you are the bravest girl I’ve ever met. I’m sure I’ll never meet a girl like you. You were all tough and did whatever necessary to get what you wanted but you were also pretty kind, you know, considering you were a Hades’ daughter.”

“I always we thought we were inseparable. I was the mind, you the heart. Kind of stupid, right? But you have to admit, it was the truth. I’ve always been the brains of the whole thing, the one to make all the decisions as logically as possible and you always used to make a big deal about everything I chose. And sometimes, I said a bunch of things I regret for. I should’ve never said any of that. You’re not stupid, nor idiot. You never were. Maybe I was, but not you.”

Nico could not go forward. His throat was tightened at the point he couldn’t speak. The tears were rolling through his face a little while now. He took the Hades’ miniature from his jacket’s pocket, the only physical memory he had from Bianca.

“I kept it. I… Bianca, I miss you so much. I never thought I could feel a pain this strong, but I do. It’s that kind of pain that never leaves, that wound that never stops bleeding. Sometimes I thought I was good enough to live on my own, but I’m not. I need you. As any person, I need my brain, but a brain cannot function properly without a beating heart.”

“I should know better than anyone. People die and once they’re gone there’s no coming back. And I know it’s too late now, but… goodbye, sis. I should’ve said that ages ago but I never managed to. I don’t even know how I’m doing it now.” He closed his eyes slowly. He couldn’t do it anymore. It was too hard, too painful. He squeezed the toy so hard in his hands his knuckles were going white. He felt a wind hit his face and a soft voice spoke in his head.

“ _Nico, please don’t take the blame for yourself. People die and you know it. And I beg you to not ever feel alone. I’m by your side always. We shall meet again, brother. This is not goodbye, for I’m never saying goodbye to you._ ”

Nico wiped the tears away from his face and looked one last time to his sister’s grave.

“See you soon then, sister.”

He turned his back and walked away without looking behind, just the way Bianca did when joined the Huntresses.

***

From that day on, Nico never cried again. Sometimes, when he missed Bianca so much it made his heart ache, he’d hear his sister’s words in his mind, telling him that he was never alone.

And he believed it. Every brain needs a heart, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it guys! I know there must be some grammar errors there but I'm learning sooo. Thanks to those who read this! :)


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